The head honcho of Gainesville gave a heart warming speech and ceremony today. Today, Motley, the duck-dog, was
given the key to the city of Gainesville for his excellent work as a dog catcher. This duck-dog has really cleaned
up our city. We don't have to be afraid of stray, rabid dogs any longer. Motley gave a speech when given this
key. We have it with us for your reading pleasure.
"My fellow Gainesvillians, thank you for this key, which you and your mayor, Don Jovi, have bestowed upon me. I
remember the first day I joined the dog-catching force. It was a unusually warm sunny day, December 19, 2004, and after
meeting my dog-catching team mates we set out to work, finding the stray dogs around downtown. I spotted a pug with
no identification on him and decided he would be my first catch. So, I went to the small refridgerator, that we kept
in the truck, and pulled out a steak. I opened up its packaging and placed it in my mouth. I, then, tossed the
steak into the street, where the pug was roaming. He immediately went to the steak and begin to chow down. I then
sneaked behind him and slapped cuffs on his hind legs and told him to get to the van. The dog would not cooperate with
me and began to bark loudly. I was forced to take the taizer that my fellow dog catchers had attached to me and use
it on the dog. That was it for that dog. He went quietly to our van. It was a great victory for me and my
teammates."
Motley continutes, "My most recent catch was a doberman who had a reputation for bullying small children. We had
been looking for this dog for weeks, when finally we caught up to him, just last week. He was lying in wait in an alley
behind the local Golden Pig BBQ restaurant, when we spotted him. I went over and fooled him into believing that I was
not going to do him any harm or cause him any disturbances. After I gained his trust, I told him that I knew a great
place to find kids to prey upon. He got extremly excited and begged me to take him there. I asked him to follow
me. I led him right back to our dog catcher van, where other members of my team tackled and put the doberman into a
cage inside our van.
In conclusion, I am very happy with my job. I love ridding the city of unwanted dogs and I thank everyone here
for honoring me with this gracious reward. I will keep it with me always. I will, before leaving, take a few questions
from any reporters that are here."
Q & A:
Q: What has been your proudest moment in the time that you have been with the dog-catcher squad?
A: I guess that would have to have been the night I caught my first Rottweiler. That was a great day, because it
took a lot of patience and work to capture him and I even sustained minor injuries.
Q: If you had the choice, would you keep this job if you were given the opportunity to join the K-9 police force, which
would pay 20% more than your making now?
A: No, I don't believe I would. I know I wouldn't get along with the other dogs on the force. Plus, I love
my job here at the Gainesville Dog Pound and I love the people I work with. I could find better friends or a better employer,
even if I wanted one.
Q: Are you planning to run for the Head of Dog Catching (in Georgia) election against Sam Waller, the best dog-catcher
in Duluth?
A: I have not decided whether I'm gonna run for that position yet. I'm still considering my options, though
I've had much encouragement from my dog-catcher friends.
His speech was so elequent and very interesting. We here at the Gainesville Times have high hopes that Motley will
run in that upcoming election and will beat out his opponent for the position of Head Dog Catcher of the state. We know
who we'd vote for! Who would you vote for, please take our poll and tell us.
